Thank you for your kind words, JaneQ! I will come back to this subject later.
Today I have been thinking about something else. I read Freetime’s blog about “Time”, and will now write this lengthy rant about time management in my life here rather than hijack another person’s blog.
As you add a new romantic relationship into your life, it will inevitably take a part of your time. From where you take it, is an interesting question.
I am now some half-year or so into my relationship with Mark. Before that there was only my husband, now these two relationships. And for sure, time management has been different.
I’ll share some of the notifications I have made about what has changed. Already well before Mark entered my life, I had been reducing contact with people that I did not find important enough - with whom there was no deep connection but who would be called acquaintances rather than friends. And the contact with them remain almost non-existent to this day; now I do not have the time nor the interest in keeping the contact.
I stay at Mark’s place every other weekend, otherwise I stay in my and CJ’s home (well, I have spent a couple short holidays at Mark’s so far in addition). This arrangement has made weekends very precious, and actually nowadays all my weekends are booked. Which means that it is difficult to find time for those people in my life that I see irregularly and in the past did meet during weekends. That is, most of my friends - almost all of them live so far that a visit during weeks is not an option.
This has lead to me and CJ doing more things as a couple and gaining more mutual friends. We are both very independent and did not have the urge to get to know each other’s friends when it was only the two of us in the picture. He would go alone to spend time with his friends and I would do the same, and still there was well enough together-time for us. Now, of course during my “Mark-weekends” CJ will often grab the opportunity to meet up with his buddies. But then, when we have together-time, we both appreciate it more than ever before. And, I am much more willing to come with him if he is going somewhere, as I know my time with him is limited. I think this has actually strengthened us as a couple.
As of the problem regarding my own friends - where to find time for them? Well, me and Mark have been inviting them to visit our home in the country. So far none of them have had time or possibility to come over, but maybe one day... Visits would be easier at Mark’s because he is more social and less introverted than CJ, and the house is nice and big, and offers more privacy for guests if they stay overnight.
Up until now my two relationships have been totally separate. Now CJ has agreed to meeting Mark, which is something both me and Mark have been wishing for. They have not met yet, and no date has been set for the meeting. CJ wants it to happen when he is otherwise calm and relaxed - at the moment some work-related issues are taking too much of his energy. This is something I am very much looking forward to and excited about. It will be interesting to see how much the meeting will change things - time-management-wise and else.
in a live-in Vee with
CJ: my husband and