From my perspective, three years is not an awfully long time. I was with FBF for 2ish years, and he was very good friends with CBF. The three of us were friends, yes, but mostly they were very close. When I broke up with FBF, I got closer to CBF and we eventually became a couple. For about 6 years. Broke up with CBF. Continued to be friends with both. Got back together with CBF, and about two months later found myself in a poly-vee with them both.
So, it took me at least eight years.
Please read up around here. Read about unicorns, read about control freaks. Consider, just think about, and maybe talk to your gf about dating separately. If stuff isn't changing in the way you'd like, consider a different change.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein
Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)