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Old 07-04-2013, 09:22 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
When we realize we have deeper feelings for the person, we then rather quickly begin to develop a different set of expectations -- not based on the person we're involved with, mind you, but instead based on how we feel and, more importantly, what we've been taught to believe we should expect when we feel these things for someone.
Way to nail that point down, nycindie! Viewing expectation as fluid instead of static makes much more sense.

I had a friend years ago who had an issue with marriage because he felt it came with a new assumed list of expectation and he found it to be an irrational thing to do to a relationship that was working just fine. He described it as "Hey, this relationship is great, I love everything about it... let's CHANGE IT!". His assertion is something I've always agreed with but your breakdown is much more applicable to the standard relationship dynamic. That is to say, he attributed it to marriage, and you are attributing it to simply reaching different levels of intimacy.

Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent