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Old 07-04-2013, 11:02 AM
Hetaera Hetaera is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Northeast
Posts: 66

Originally Posted by Vixtoria View Post
I do enjoy seeing what people use to define themselves though. I just wonder a lot on how that changes things. I've seen a few times someone mention they are getting a degree in mental health, and I wonder, well what does THAT mean?? I know more about things than many of my therapists because of the research I do and the experiences I've had, is that discounted because well I won't have the DEGREE? Does a degree mean you know something or see something different than me? Well I thought just on the virtue of being a different person that was true! So I take what labels people give themselves as interesting but no more merit than if you tell me you are female or male. It's such a small part of you I don't see how it makes much difference in the weight of opinions!
I'm not saying I'm any better than anyone else b/c I'm Bipolar (I was being a smart ass b.c someone brought up London's issue to excuse his behavior) or because I'm becoming a therapist or scored 99%ile on my MATs. I am a unique individual with a unique set of experiences. My therapist is wonderful, so open-minded & yet she thinks she gets poly & she doesn't, she had one couple in an unhappy marriage who decided to fuck other people, sorry, not poly to me, but I'm trying to help her learn.

I bring a lot to the table and, although I'm certainly not perfect, I have experienced a lot & can hopefully help a lot of people lead happier more productive lives without just slapping them in the face with reality over & over again like some people do online here....don't we all get enough of that every day just by living our lives? Do you really need another smack in the face when someone has just broken your heart? GMAFB. What I'm saying is that I've found that there are techniques that work in my day-to-day life that I will put to use in my practice that are more effective than others in getting my point across. If you are harsh with your advice & hit someone's ego, they might not even hear your advice so your advice gets lost & becomes pointless. What is the point of advice? To make yourself feel good? To boost your own fragile ego? Or to help another human being gain a better understanding of a particular situation & move forward? I like to figure out the best way to do that. Sometimes they need a kick in the butt but most of the time, they need to hear the right words at the right time so they can hear what you are saying and use the advice to their best advantage. This is my entire point about the bullshit tough love approach used by people on this forum & others, it's often about what's best for them & not what's best for the person who's posing the question or having the problem. So yeah, it's a public forum but what's the point of getting on here & being an egotistical asshole & not helping our fellow beings? Esp. when we are such a relatively small, relatively misunderstood community who really needs to the support of those who understand our struggles. You just never never kick a dog when it's down.
Me- Bi-female-early 40s- Single Mom to 2 young boys
Exploring & having fun for the time being after a long & unhappy marriage

There is no failure. Only feedback. -Robert Allen