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Old 07-04-2013, 12:55 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,115
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For some of us saying the "L"-word is a big deal...for others not so much.
(You can read my post the first time I said it to my boyfriend HERE).

The question is - what does this mean to you, your boyfriend, and your husband? Only those involved know the dynamic.

When you and your husband were discussing polyamory - what agreements did you two come to about what/how much of your relationship with another partner was expected to be disclosed? Is your new partner aware of these expectations?

In our particular arrangement, the possibility for new loves developing is why our arrangement works - it's kind of the point. However, there is the expectation that as things "develop" we talk about them and each individual's (EACH individual - old partners, new partners, metamours, etc.) concerns and comfort levels. In addition to being partners and lovers we are all friends. If I was developing a relationship with someone and emotions were getting deeper, that is certainly something that I would share/talk about with a close friend - so, of course, I would talk about it with my husband and my boyfriend.

Your situation may be different.

JaneQ
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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