After all our committed years, I am not willing to just completely throw it away and move on. In addition, we have a 9 year old involved in all of this, and he has only ever seen us fight once.
Thank you for the link to practicalpolyamory. I read the articles you recommended and they were both very enlightening. I see a LOT of things we need to work on.
Right now, the husband is away on a trip to see his best friend and family. He really needs this. I am so glad he went and hope he has time to process some things for when he comes back.
We spent an entire day together and I took him to the airport. For the first time in months, we didn't fight. It was tense most of the day, and I was rather uncomfortable (having big problems letting my guard down right now). However, I was glad to have the day with him before he left.
We can't have back what we have been slowly losing for years until we can work on our friendship. He has been my best thing forever, and if I lose that, its going to break my heart in two.
I am going to let him know it may help for him to come look at this literature. I don't want to ruin his trip, but I think its most of what he is thinking about anyway.
LadySFI- me; Pansexual, Heteromantic, Poly. "Open, but not looking".
C-Boyfriend - Pansexual, Heteromantic, Poly. "Open, but not looking".
Courage isn't the absence of fear, but the judgement that something else is more important than fear. -Ambrose Redmoon