Originally Posted by tree166
That's what I think too, but I've been told by others in our local poly community that I didn't have a right to demand an end to the relationships. Knowing how much "control" to exercise in these situations has been a struggle.
Well, I can demand anything I want but the only thing I have any actual control over is myself. If IV were to start attracting crazy people like moths to a flame (as it sounds like some people can't seem to avoid doing) then I would have control over what parts of my life I partnered with her on; primarily the question of living together would be brought front and center. That is just my self-preservation, not exacting imaginary control over her.
If your partner allows you to control who they date then that is a decision they have made... independence is not for everyone.