Got a response:
whoa u asked alot of questions, I totally wont be stringing anyone along.......good luck on finding someone to fall in love with? Thats not very cool of you. Ppl get hurt that way, if you especially have no intentions of leaving your husband for a woman, then I'm not interested. I'm gay and I'm looking for a monagmous relationship, not someone to just fuk around with when its convient for them.........
thanks for the reply tho!
Even if she's found that her current relationship is going nowhere, am I wrong to believe that she's totally stringing her partner along by posting personal ads behind her partner's back? Even if they both know it's going nowhere, to me that doesn't justify the sneaking. Whenever I've been unhappy in a relationship, or felt it was going no where, I've ended it, even if I still had some feelings for the person. It's hard enough to meet people without wasting your Friday nights with someone you don't want to be with.
Second point, "if you especially have no intentions of leaving your husband for a woman" = "so I'll date married women, but only if they plan on leaving their husbands" ? ... well no wonder she keeps getting her heart broken by married women! She'd dated a married woman who left her husband to be with her, but who eventually went back to her husband. I'm wondering now how much of that was the girlfriend deciding on her own to leave the husband, vs being prompted by the woman from the ad? It may even be that the other woman was really poly but didn't know that it was allowed to be with both, and thought the only way to be with a woman was to leave her husband, but then still loved her husband and went back. The ad poster mentioned that she'd since seen this woman out with yet another woman, making me think this was the case... Hm, I wonder if she could send this woman my e-mail address? :P
So now I'm asking some advice: From an education perspective, do you ever just write someone off as a lost cause? Is it worth my time trying to explain that I'm not planning on hurting anybody and that I have no intention of forming a relationship with someone who believes I'll eventually leave my husband for them? Are some people just incapable of understanding the concept of poly?