View Single Post
Old 07-01-2013, 11:01 PM
Marcus's Avatar
Marcus Marcus is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,587

Originally Posted by Tonya View Post
This all started with a lack of honesty and a lie he told last month, I have forgiven him and he apologized sincerely. Only thing is now I'm always wondering if he's telling me the truth about things.
You are not alone. It seems like almost every person who posts here with a critical meltdown in front of them got this way because someone cheated, feelings were hurt, and everyone was 'forgiven'. I am coming to understand that this *must* be the reason people assume polyamory can't work... because this is how people try it out.

Originally Posted by Tonya View Post
What can I do when these little triggers come up to help me not freak out?
You are not over the breach of trust. You are obviously not remotely over the breach of trust. You must get over the breach of trust if you intend for this relationship to continue on. There are some threads on this topic in the Golden Nuggets forum I believe... or just wait a few minutes and GalaGirl will lay it out for you.

Learn to put the breach of trust behind you or save yourself the time and energy and just break off the relationship right now.

Originally Posted by Tonya View Post
He says he is happy but he feels like I am the one being tortured.
It's pretty obvious that you are being tortured so telling him that you aren't is likely to fall on def ears. Aside from getting over the breach of trust - you want to stop obsessing over this 'relationship' stuff.

Get some exercise
Get a hobby
Hang out with your friends (and stop talking about it for a minute)
Do some reading about open relationships
Do whatever it takes to get your mind off of this, you sound like you're about to burst.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
Reply With Quote