Originally Posted by Marcus
Oh gawd don't say that, you'll have this whole forum diving on me like rabid dogs.
I am not saying this is the litmus test for polyamory, I am saying that this sense of authority and responsibility is a big determining factor in what type of relationship you are likely to have. It is a fundamental reflection of how you view other people which in turn will shape the way your relationships work.
I'm curious to know what your hesitation is with your partner having relations of this nature. What is it that makes you approach it with such apprehension? I ask because you are so sure about not wanting to babysit adult humans and that you want your partner to be independent, responsible for their own time and body, etc.
I don't understand the need, and there is risk involved. Pregnancy, STI's.
I don't do drugs either and don't feel like I'm missing out. Not that they are similar I'm just saying I know people who smoke weed that think I am somehow not as evolved as them because I don't like weed. But it is illegal and I'm not interested in jail. Being high stresses me out and makes me feel like I'm going to disintegrate. Maybe I'm doing it wrong.? Nobody has ever given me a strong enough argument to convince me that doing something I don't enjoy anyway is better than going to jail.
I've never heard a reason why having sex or relationships with multiple partners is better than having sex with one. I concede that there are situations in which the STI/pregnancy issues could be minimized to acceptable levels. I've had threesomes and some other experimentation but my preference is simplicity. Keep the actors the same but keep giving them fresh scripts and scenes and playhouses.
I am attracted to women as well as men but only a very specific type of woman and I am perfectly content keeping it in memory and fantasyland.
So basically- if PRIOR to getting in a relationship it was somehow established that my partner wanted to do xyz I am open to negotiation and no, I don't want to establish any control over what that person does with their body but I would expect that THEY know what they are doing and why. And I don't think it's too much to ask for me to know. I am curious and interested not controlling. I would be more than happy to tell my partner exactly why I am attracted to that particular type of woman, where it came from, what happened.... I would think they would want to know.