I think you hit it on the head when you used the term "confused" - i.e. "I got this very confused response".
To me, it's just indicative of the state (confused) the vast majority of people are in in western society due to repression of sexuality and alternate lifestyles - be in GLBT, poly etc.
It becomes a big philosophical debate - internally & externally.
There's always this balance being struck between our trying to live our lives in ways that meet our desires but yet acknowledging that in areas like sex, it also is going to involves others. And their feelings & desires.
Eventually everyone has to come down on one side of the philosophical fence or the other, and which side that is depends on the person AND the particular situation.
While your description of what you see as "hypocrisy" is maybe technically accurate, I think the term needs to be used gently in some cases, and maybe this is one.
We don't know what state her relationship has reached with her current lover but safe to say, in most relationships of any length everyone reaches a point that the "writing is on the wall". And when that happens EVERYONE (in most cases) senses it. But we don't always come right out and talk about it. So if the relationship (current) is not really 'bad' - just missing something, a lot of people tend to just hang in there and set to work looking for something better. In the meantime, they make the best of what they have.
Is that 'brutally honest' ? No. Guess we all wish that that level of brutal honesty could exist between all of us without becoming cruel and ugly. But that's not real either in many cases.
So, people try to balance - as best they know how. We learn as we go.