I am a naturally inclined mono person who hates hates hates cheating, and has never cheated on anyone. My boyfriend, who I described in my intro post, has decided in the past few days that he is a sex addict and started attending SAA meetings. I have been suggesting to him that maybe he is poly and would prefer an honest poly lifestyle over a dishonest cheating one. He says no he is not poly.
I will support him in his journey of becoming more self aware since we live together although I am not sure about how I feel about the idea of associating sex and addiction, seems like a tricky thing to do mentally.
I do have a question here, bear with me
It seems like regular everyday people go about relationships without really talking about them in depth and then resent each other over unspoken things and then cheat to get their needs met making themselves and others miserable in the process. (Yes that is a gross oversimplification but just for arguments sake)
On the flip side you polys seem so concerned with honesty and empathy for all parties involved it really alligns more with my value system and the way that I look at relationships. But when I am in a relationship I don't have a strong desire to have sex or fall in love with others. And I don't think I could feel comfortable with my partner having sex or falling in love with others. I THINK I could MAYBE handle a once a year exception to the sex thing or something like that. I THINK i could MAYBE handle us having a couple we were friends with but not in love with to mess around with from time to time as long as nobody was being deceptive. What would that make me? A swinger? Ick.
Maybe I'm just an idealistic mono in a sea of liars and cheaters. But I respect you guys for valuing honesty. It gives me hope that someday i can find a better way.