It's like 3% without antiretrovirals, yes some people shed without an outbreak but very few. As I said before, a huge amount of people who have herpes are fluid bonded with negative partners. That's something also true for women with HIV. Lots of those have had children with men that have a negative status.
The testing thing is another issue in itself. Lots of people who swear they'd never allow someone with hsv 2 in their sexual network don't actually know if they have it themselves yet are fine making calls about other people.