Welcome to the forum
I hope you'll read some threads on here that will help you understand how to better care for yourself and your partners.
Oh, my. I've tried to write this sentence several times so it wouldn't offend; this is my best shot- If you want to connect honestly with a person, you will have to make a commitment to yourself to do the work that that takes, including accepting that you are not in control of how other people feel but you are responsible for emotional mayhem you cause because you are coolly operating at a surface level.
At the risk of sounding like your parents, -slow down and know yourself, woman! When you really know what you have to say- it is much easier to communicate your needs to others in your life.
Tell us more about your situation if you care to elaborate. It always helps perspective both ways to know the backstory.
I hope you'll enjoy the site,
"Rocks will open and make a way for the lover."
~Hazrat Inayat Khan
I love Catfish and Charlie.