Thread: Dating an ex?
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Old 06-29-2013, 06:49 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,471

Originally Posted by JadeDoor View Post
There was a lot of drama that caused their divorce.... there was always some tension. Now I know why.

They've come a long way in a week ...
One week?? Yikes. I hope they are being careful, especially because--

...It's shown my DH too that maybe a FWB isn't what he's looking for, or what he should require of me. Real feelings can be involved here and everyone still feel loved and appreciated.
You're entering into poly with the rule that you can only have FWBs, but he can actually date his ex-wife, co-parent, with whom there has been "drama and tension" for years?? Holy double standard, Batman.

Thanks for the input. Like I said, everyone situation is different and of course you have to come up with your own "normal", but I also really want poly to work for us and I'd hate to fall into some typical traps that are a bad idea is all.
Typical traps are double standards and overly restrictive rules for one's primary.

Are you allowed to date men or only women? If you fall in love with someone instead of having merely a FWB/fuckbuddy, what the heck are you supposed to do? Break up with someone because you care "too much?" That sounds like a skosh away from monogamy, and not poly at all, more like swinging.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixi (poly, F, 40) together since 2009
My bf Kahlo (poly-friendly, M, 45) since August 2017
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's bf for 5 years
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