Thread: Wide Awake
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Old 06-28-2013, 05:24 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
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Matt and I had a date last night. It was not the traditional date. We decided to go to places that had a special meaning to us. The place where we had our first date. The club where we danced and had fun until the wee hours of the morning. Every place we went to had some special meaning behind it. We had dinner at an old favourite. It was romantic and relaxing. We talked, laughed, and reconnected after what was easily one of the most tense days we have had yet. He asked me to dance, and the song was, "Make You Feel My Love," by Adele. (I love her version.) The dance was perfect. It was like there was no one else in the room. When you are that lost in someone and in a moment that feels that perfect, there are no words for it. After dinner, we went to Boujis. We needed to have a little fun. We spent many nights there. We did Crack Baby shots and danced. I loved letting my hair down and letting go of some of the seriousness for once. I need to do that more often. We went to 5 Hertford Street and just talked. By then, we wanted a snack. We ended up at Duck and Waffle. We stayed long enough to watch the sunrise from the 40th floor. Simple moments are what my heart beats for.

We made it home a bit after 5:30. It felt weird coming in after the sun was already up. Our children were still sleeping. Nanny J was already up. We talked to her over tea. It was a funny and light-hearted conversation. Matt and I took a shower and headed to sleep. I had to work for the first few hours of the day, so I took a nap. He was still knocked out when I left. I left him a note on my pillow. He sent a text when he read it. I appreciated that. We are ten times healthier. I cannot explain how happy that makes me.

Since Matt was at home most of the day, he had the pleasure of setting up for our daughter's party and sleepover. All of her friends RSVPed. We are about to have a house full of very active little girls, who will be hyped up on sugar. Give me strength. We are having our going away party tomorrow, so we figured it would only be right for her to have one with her friends. My son's birthday party is Sunday. Busy weekend, and I cannot believe we are leaving Sunday night. Where did the week go?

I have not talked to Si much since she moved. It is a nine hour time difference, so our schedules have not aligned very well this week. I do know that she has settled in nicely. Her first day of orientation with her new job was today. She e-mailed me several pictures and video footage of her new place. It is beautiful, and it reflects her style. Monochromatic with a bold pop of colour interjected. It is very state of the art. It reminds me of a smart home. Keyless entry where the lights, music, and air conditioning can be programmed to come on upon entry in to the home. The one feature that I love is the 180 bottle wine wall. Forget a wine cellar. She loves it there, and judging by the latest e-mail, her new job is a great fit. I am beyond happy that she is adjusting so well and enjoying herself. The past four months have probably been hard on her, so if she is happy, then I am happy for her.

I do want to talk to her about why she would agree to Matt's terms. I want to do it face to face. I could just e-mail her about this, but I prefer not to. She might be thinking like me, "Since I caused this, I am not in the position to ask for compromises that would be self-serving." It could be more of a guilt related reaction. I just kind of want to understand why she would agree to only being able to see me for one overnight a week and all the other items on his list. I know I cannot control anyone's emotions or feelings but my own, but I find myself wondering, "Is she really going to be happy seeing me maybe 10 hours every week (including lunch dates) and maybe one date a week?" I know the quality of the time spent is better than the quantity of time, but is it possible to get your needs met with an arrangement like this? I am not concerned about my needs. They are already being met by him, but I cannot help but wonder about hers? I wonder because she has already stated that if we get back together, she has no interest in dating anyone else. I offered an option like before. Staying closed with the option to re-open if she wanted to because it was her idea to close our relationship. She knows what she does and does not want, and I have to respect that. Maybe we can set some time aside next weekend.

I need to go mingle with our guests and greet everyone. Their parents are staying put for awhile. Thank goodness for that.
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