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Old 06-28-2013, 03:37 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,231

I'm sorry you feel UGH right now.

I explained to him last ngiht that Im happy to listen, to support, to offer advise...but its when my words go unheeded and he continues to gripe to me, then do nothing about the issues that i get frustrated and a little resentful.
I see where it bugs you.

If YOU want to feel better... could ask him what the job is here and what he expects of your role here.

In the quote above, you do not cite any boundaries or limits. If you get frustrated that you are in an endless suckage hamster wheel? You could realize you could ask for clarification, and/or could step OFF any time you choose.

When talking to him you could be assertive and state the limits. Maybe something like...
"Am I just Safe Ear for Venting? If so, I can do about 5 gallons. When I'm full, I'm letting you know, and then if you still have gallons behind the dam there.... you just need to find someone ELSE to vent to also. I cannot hold it all on this one. If it were a 1 gallon problem, ok. But you have LOTS. "

"Am I Safe Ear for Venting AND Feedback? If so, I can do the above up to 5 gallons, and give some feedback, but if you aren't taking action at some point with your own choices, considering feedback from me or others, then I am withdrawing my willingness to listen and give feedback on this one. There's being supportive GF and being sucked-dry GF. I'm not up for endless suckage -- I don't need to be vampired."
You figure out how you want to word it. But could word it and state it. Could find a healthy balance for yourself. You are responsible for your OWN well being. Could state/accept your personal limitations.

Otherwise when it BECOMES endless suckage? Who's going to nip it in the bud? Prob not the vampires.

It has to be YOU.

I see where you encourage him to be assertive. That applies to you as well, right?

Hang in there.



Last edited by GalaGirl; 06-28-2013 at 04:25 PM.
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