Originally Posted by afar
I don't place the blame at the feet of poly at all. I don't think there's anything unnatural about it at all as a matter of fact. I simply don't trust my husband to be able to make decisions that are best for our family while he's in NRE. There were so many times that I asked him to slow down so he and I could make this change in our marriage together, and he simply either couldn't or didn't. My needs ceased to be a concern for him, and worse, he was exposing our young child to things we both agreed we wouldn't expose him to in order to avoid confusion on his part. Almost everthing in his life began to revolve around this woman, and I am just not willing to place trust in him again to do the right thing for our family while hes in NRE.
new to your thread, but i just read threw. first, i am extremely sorry for what you are going through, second I wanted to share my story with you even though it may not be encoruaging. you say you cant trust him to be poly, but you have to decide if you can trust him at all....a few years ago, i had cheated on my spouse and come clean, i cut off ties with this man (which was very difficult and painful) and stayed with my husband. a few years later, I found myself drawn to someone again....in my case I ended up asking him to go poly and it has worked for us, but my point is you need to find out if he can be good and trustful in mono, or poly. If id been dishonest, I could have cheated (again) but didnt. I also knew i would not be able to give up what i felt for my current boyfriend and was very clear with ym husband about this, but had also done alot of soul searching about wanting to be poly. Im just saying, make sure that 'saving' this marriage is whats best. my best of luck and ::hugs:::