I will agree with the confusion. See I met them both swinging and its not assumed or really discussed when it comes to limitations and communication seems unclear from my experience. I never felt I had the right to ask either of them who they were with. When I tried with bf2 he kind of bleWhichw it off acting like he was just swinging with others and we had something special. I didn't know what to believe and that maybe it's best if we had a dont ask dont tell relationship..... but yes my fault for not clarifying before going back to bf1. I didn't know if he was just saying things to keep me around but I willingly let it happened and allowed for poor communication. He's told my husband how he was disappointed and hurt from it all but couldn't see any wrong doing on his end. I don't get that at all!!!!!! With bf1 there is alot of drama and he's probably untrustworthy but I love him and I was willing to look past it all.. but I can see y bf2 would not like him. Bf2 was more sincere but I didn't know how much till now. I keep thinking of that saying. ..."u don't know what u got till its gone". So the worst mistake of my life is not communicating clearly..... that much I learned and I guess it is my fault too as much as its his fault for being so vauge.
I appreciate everyone's advice just wish I could fix all this! I am deeply hurt and after being married so long it confuses me so much when someone says they love u and care but just end a relationship over poor communication. I don't even know how I could fix this aside for leaving my ex...... even though I've mentioned that to him and he just dont want to hear it! Ugh........