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Old 06-27-2013, 06:32 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jetta9502 View Post
It was a lot of fun, however I just kept having this sad feeling. Seeing her again made me really miss her.
Hmm, missing her while she was actually there with you... that says to me that you were really living in your head that night. It's too bad you weren't able to stay present to really savor and appreciate the moments you had with her. Instead, you let yourself get wrapped up in the past. It's no wonder you were feeling sad and nostalgic, but look at how you prevented yourself from really enjoying her company fully by focusing on what you were missing instead. Next time you see her, do whatever you can to bring yourself back to the present moment, the "here and now." Please pardon this somewhat vulgar saying that comes to mind: if you've got one foot in the past and the other foot in the future, you are pissing on the present.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jetta9502 View Post
I have started to try to look for someone else . . . i dont have that other person like he does and I want that so bad. I worry I'm not going to find anyone. I just hope I can find someone.
People are not prizes to be won.

Nor are they there for you to use in order to keep pace with your hubby. It isn't a race or a competition. You sound so forlorn and desperate - I don't think it's a good time for you to be pursuing people to be in a relationship with you. You're in mourning, you're upset. It wouldn't be very nice to do to any potential partners, as you'd just be using them to erase the pain of your break-up and somehow feel like you and your husband are "even." Take some time to be alone with yourself and get to like who you are, before you start escaping into another relationship.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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