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Old 06-27-2013, 02:08 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,779

Originally Posted by JadeDoor View Post
He and I have been through a LOT in our five years of marriage and have realized that we love each other enough to make compromises for one another. I recently let him go on a date . . . He agreed to give this all a try.

For now I am just letting him date.
Just want to point out that he is a grown man and made his choice to date someone. He isn't a boy who needs your permission -- he's your partner. You didn't actually "let him" do anything. What you did do, was to accept that he wanted to go on the date, let him know that you were okay with it, and agree with him that your marriage is strong enough that you can support each other having multiple relationships.

The distinction between the two concepts is an important one. One is about ownership and codependency, the other is about partnership and autonomy.

Originally Posted by JadeDoor View Post
Neither one of us is sure exactly what we're looking for yet. Not just sex. We'd like relationships. A "best friends with benefits" type of relationship perhaps? I don't even know if that exists really, but we are trying to figure it all out.
It's perfectly fine not to know exactly what you want. Just stay open to possibilities and expect the unexpected! And certainly, FWB situations are a reasonable want, and totally possible.

Originally Posted by JadeDoor View Post
. . . we're not looking for people to move in with us at this point.
Polyamory definitely does NOT require everyone all living together!! Many polyfolk would run quickly away from that scenario - so you shouldn't think you're supposed to shoot for that, as if it's the poly "norm." Either one of you (or both) could wind up in relationships with folks who are also married or partnered, or happily independent and solo, and just not into being part of a tribe.

There are so many possibilities and so many opportunities to discover yourself! Enjoy the journey!
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 06-27-2013 at 02:10 AM.
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