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Old 06-27-2013, 01:54 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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There is a good reason to be reasonably cautious however-
just because you have a RIGHT to do something does NOT MEAN IT IS A GOOD IDEA>

I keep reading "it's your right".

That's really not the point now is it?

The point is, will it be healthy and beneficial for you to?

I suggest caution-because talking about how someone hurt you doesn't JUST create opinions about the person who hurt you.

It also creates opinions about YOU and that CAN destroy both you, them and both of your individual chances at successful relationships within such a small community.

Something my husband and I discussed together, was "how we became poly". The bottomline is-it was a nasty mess that led us down this track. While it is important to be honest, something we noticed was that people made assumptions when we were open about this-INCORRECT assumptions. Assumptions that led US to disengage from all local poly communities...
Assumptions that led to behaviors that made it IMPOSSIBLE for either of us to date anyone who was carrying those assumptions-because it created an unhealthy situation for our family.

We got where we are today because I had an affair. I am NOT embarrassed to say so. I have been VERY forthright about it.
However-in being open and honest about it, I tainted the other poly women's opinions about me. In every case-the women he met IN the poly community who already knew this of me (because I was forthright about it)-all were ASSHOLES to me and my bf. The result being-that Maca can't date in that community-because I openly admitted to MY FUCK UPS and it ruined HIS dating opportunity.


So yes-you do have a RIGHT to talk about whatever happens to you. But-remember-it could damage your chances and other people's chances for healthy relationship options in that pool of people if you aren't careful.
Because you can't control how OTHER people chose to react after they have heard the information.
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