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Old 06-27-2013, 12:58 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
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Never beg for someone's affections. That is undignified and will only make you look pathetic, to be begging for love. Sorry it sucks right now, but stand tall.

It's unfortunate that you are in pain right now, but the guy that broke up with you wanted to restrict you in ways that seem unreasonable to me. Maybe you're better off without such a control freak telling you what to do and what to say. But of course, you can't see that right now. And besides, wouldn't you rather that a guy enthusiastically wants to be with you without having to convince him of such?

Right now, you need to focus on what you do have, not what you don't have. You've got a marriage that works, with an open-minded husband and the freedom to have additional relationships. You still have a boyfriend, but he's just a little busy right now. Don't harass him -- you're being too needy and clingy -- so leave him be and stop freaking out. Talk to friends, a therapist, or write in a journal, to find healing over the break-up. It does seem to me, from what you wrote and how you wrote it, that you lose a little too much of yourself in your relationships.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 06-27-2013 at 01:50 AM.
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