The only reason n goes barrier (the term bare back just sounds so skeevy) free with j is because he's Bern snipped and she's on bc. She also only goes barrier free with N. It had been discussed that if either decided to go bf with another they would then begin using condoms.
It's shocking to me how many women offer the fact that they are fixed to him. I always wonder about people like that, do they routinely offer to go without? We met a couple once that was very put off that I wasn't fixed because the man was and I discovered that they frequently participated in swaps without protection.
done with poly, the end.