So today would have been seventeen years. I've known this day was coming, and I've been a little curious how I was going to react. For a while, I was planning on sending flowers. But now that it's here... it just seems so pointless. I don't want her back at this point. She wants me back even less. I find myself grieving for something that hasn't existed for a long time... it's like burning to bring the murderer of a dinosaur to justice. What's the point, really?
But I am a sentimental guy, so I mark anniversaries. This is the last one. It feels significant. So today I mentally raise a glass and allow myself to mourn a bit. For something young and innocent and beautiful that died before its time. Something that deserved more attention than it got. Something that should have lasted forever, but didn't. I feel like a young man in the twenty second row.
I feel sadness, but not anger, and that's a step forward, I think.
"I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought."