Hi NYCindie, Definitely not a factor with the first guy--I just wasn't that into him sexually so I ended it. The second guy--hard to say. He was recently divorced, and insisted he "wasn't looking for a relationship." He was also quite ok with the idea of an open marriage, said he always wanted to try one. He just sort of stopped calling/texting/facebooking which I know is guy-speak for "we're done now." He was kind of a player anyway, so I don't know if things would have been different between us if I was able to introduce him to my husband, or even if I was utterly unattached.
That being said, I can see how eventually DADT could become a problem if I ever find a person I want a long-term relationship with. My husband is also aware that this is an issue we may need to discuss at some future point. Hopefully, by then I will have proved that I won't let relationships outside my marriage destroy me or my marriage.