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Old 01-28-2010, 01:42 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
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Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
I guess, then, it comes down to whether it matters to a group whether or not these people are staying. Generally, if the goal is to create an *inclusive* community, it's worth examining the issue. If not, then I suppose it doesn't matter.
Exactly, which was what I was trying to do by starting this thread and not making it about some specific forum, but a much more general discussion. So far I'm not sure that we are making any progress and you're right, Ceoli, maybe this isn't the right place, because those that are truly marginalized by this forum have already left. Hard to know how to reach out to those people though - I assumed that this was one of the more open poly forums around - it has certainly seemed so based on my own impressions and feedback that I have got. If you have a better suggestion, I'd be glad to hear it.

So I'm curious. How is having a women's center not self-marginalizing, but designing an online community to discuss the needs of a certain group of people where there doesn't seem to be the space to discuss such things is self-marginalizing.
I agree with you completely - either both are, or both are not - can't have it both ways. One shouldn't criticise one resource for doing something that another resource does, simply because the "line" drawn is or isn't one that one agrees with.

To put another spin on this, is the fact that we have a forum that is specialized and intended to discuss poly issues mean that we are self-marginalizing as poly people? Why don't we talk about our relationship issues in all the other romance forums that exist on the net? Why set ourselves apart in this forum and perpetuate the problem?
I think people do - I know that poly topics come up on dating fora, and relationship fora. The reception they get is often a tad "rough", and I would very much like there to be more tolerance in general. But we live in a rough world, and sometimes this necessitates creating the "niches". I look forward to a day where such niches aren't necessary, but I fear that we are a long way off this.

I had hoped that creating a dialogue here would go a small way to encouraging cross-generational poly folk to air whatever discomforts they have, in order to start the work of improving communications.

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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