It's been about a week since this "break-up" and i have learned a few things such that i will not be very happy if they get back together (which is a looming possibility now). I will accept it, but i will not give it my joyous approval. This is something i can't do anything about; i can't change the way the other person believes or reacts to their surroundings, no matter what i do that IS in my power to make it easier for them. I am trying to not act "controlling" while still making sure i say what i think.
I have found this forum very helpful when it comes to taking my own advice. I think i have observed (that is, i am not taking all available data into consideration) that most people who post here are looking for other people's answers. What i do is ask myself, "if i read my problem as a post by a stranger, with only this information to go by, what would *I* say to this person?" I use this method often and it works pretty well.
Right now things are still working themselves out, but when we have moved forward a bit, i'll probably update with more specifics.