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Old 06-26-2013, 12:44 AM
katja24 katja24 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 46

Yes, in fact M has repeatedly told me that while she is "on my side" she does not all see J in a bad light and doesn't judge him or our conflicts. She is highly respectful of the relationship I have with J and has been very sensitive in both her words and actions in giving J and I the space we need to work our conflicts out. And, I think what she means by being "on my side" is an indication of her empathy to the conflicts J and I go through. (Although I could ask for clarification). She has never said anything derogatory about J or attempted to put a wedge between him and I. She has actually offered advice, feedback, and solutions and has acted more like an sounding board. I have not been concerned about any ulterior motives that she might have.

I agree that it may be beneficial for M and J to talk directly. I think it could be helpful for J to explain why the privacy violation hurt him, and for M to explain how she doesn't judge him in any way and for the two of them to reiterate their respect and like for one another.
29 yr old queer woman with primary male partner, J
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