Originally Posted by GalaGirl
What do I think?
You could also ask him if he is willing to be working toward a co-primary shape thing or not. You also have to ask the other player's willingness to participate in a coprimary model -- your DH.
I think you are not willing to ask BF about the co-primary shape thing because he might say he's not up for that because it means him spending more of his time with you. (Not sure where your DH might fall from your post. Not sure on your willingness to ask DH about co-primaryship model from your post.)
Basically you will either decide to
a) Leave it how it is and deal with not liking not knowing.
b) Let go of the want to know
c) Ask BF (and DH) the things you want to know so you can know
It's up to you. You can always ASK. Each may or may not to be willing/able to meet the request but the asking part? That's on you to decide to do.
Neither one can mind reader you.
Thanks Galagirl. He and I have discussed it, at length actually before i got into poly (long story..ive liked him for a while) and he was always up for i too, thoguh this was before we knew his wife was on shakey ground with us being together, so im trying not too bring it up too much. DH seems to be ok moving towards co-primary, but i dont want to rush him. Is it possible to be co-primary with someone whos married to someone else?