Thank you for the responses thus far. Already I have some valuable food for thought.
Originally Posted by Marcus
Has she told you that she wants you to keep it secret from him? If this is a concern for you it will be in your best interest to let her know that you don't want to be put in this situation. If you allow yourself to be ushered into a situation where you need to lie for other people that will have been your doing.
I am against the idea of being "honest" for other people. It's not my business to make sure the world tells the truth at all times. However, if I see that I am heading down a road of needing to choose between lying or "outing" someone I'm going to hit the breaks as best I can before I'm on the hot seat needing to make that call.
Friends don't put friends in that kind of situation.
This is an angle I hadn't thought too much about, but one which I absolutely should! I almost feel like actually meeting her husband is some kind of interview or audition to get his approval. Only he doesn't know it yet. And truth be told, there is NO POSSIBLE WAY I will lie to him. About anything. Not saying I will go in and spill my guts, but trust me, there is no way you can be around the two of us without seeing the connection between J & me. Maybe she's counting on that to open up those conversations with him? I don't know. But that seems very passive to me, and I am simply not a passive person. I prefer to face situations head-on, though I recognize that not everyone is this way. Regardless, I will answer any and all questions from him honestly, and I need to make sure she knows that. I would rather not be put in that situation in the first place.
In the meantime, the comment you made, Marcus, about putting a lid on my overflowing heart and flipping the switch to my brain made me laugh out loud. Partially because it is SO EFFING TRUE. I am a very passionate, creative type of person, and I do tend to let my emotions rule.