Originally Posted by Magdlyn
Well, surely this PDA question is something you could, and probably should, discuss with both Matt and Si, separately. I've been in a room with my ex h and my current gf more than once... at first I didn't show gf much affection in front of the ex, but after 6 months to a year, I did. Let him deal with his emotions around that.
But if you and Si resumed your romantic relationship, ideally you'd all have developed compersion by then and PDAs between you and either love would be acceptable. Or not. I know in some Vs people do refrain in front of the other. Just needs to be talked about.
Good luck with the move! It's going to be a huge change.
It is something that will be discussed because resuming the relationship is in the future. No set date and time, but it is going to happen. He asked for a reprieve from poly, but he has no issue with me actually resuming the relationship. Reprieve for me just means more time to repair our marriage and strengthen our weaknesses. The amount of time is TBD. No rush, though. Hopefully at that point, compersion will be high, and this will not be an issue. If necessary, we could put a boundary in place for no PDA when the three of us are together. In the past, they did not have a problem with it, but with his modified and tailor made DADT policy, that may very well change.
This weekend was the first time that the three of us have all been in one place for a period longer than a couple of hours, since the fallout. Usually, there are other people around, so any awkwardness is minimal. I kept wondering if she felt like the proverbial third wheel, which is also why I ended up limiting contact and controlling the amount of affection. Lesson learned.
Thank you! I am ready to get this moving business over with. I hope you and miss p are enjoying your new home.