Originally Posted by quila
But if they were to pursue me, I would not stop them on the basis of their other relationship. I would encourage them to be upfront with their partner and talk to them about polyamory, but I wouldn't make the decision for them.
Not trying to be confrontational but for my own clarity...you would be willing to engage in an affair? I only ask this because I had an affair in a previous relationship. We were both married and what we did was probably the most selfish thing I can imagine. We hurt each others partners incredibly deep and damaged ourselves more than I thought possible.
I'm couldn't be involved in that type of damaging situation again.
The only way I wouldn't see "passive encouragement" as not being an affair is if you actually sidestepped a hesitant person who you were being pursued by and spoke to their partner about the relationship and what it meant.
Otherwise it's just another affair,....there's no difference between poly or mono when it comes to deceiving people.