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Old 06-23-2013, 06:08 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Charmedquark,
There was someone else here, with the usernames GwendolentheFair and Persephone, who had the same problem with her husband -- his ED would worsen whenever he started up with a new chick. He'd be fine with the new sex partner and go flaccid with his wife. I'm not sure how it was resolved - you can search for those usernames to read her threads. I recall that Gwen/Persephone had a bunch of rules in place trying to limit him and make sure he would get it up for her before anyone else, etc., but they didn't seem to help, and she would get bent out of shape over some misunderstanding or another.

I will say that trying to control what he does with someone else takes you out of the realm of managing your own relationship and overstepping your authority quite a bit, into the realm of managing his other relationship(s), which isn't cool and doesn't really do anything to address the issues anyway. If anything, I think that would add some unneeded pressure on him, which could exacerbate the problem.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 06-23-2013 at 06:21 AM.
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