Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
I wasn't necessarily responding to anyone specific. Rather, to anyone who believes that relationships don't take work, or that poly relationships don't take more work than mono ones. They do. Of course they do. Doing something always takes more work than not doing something; making new relationships is "doing something."
But what I'm emphasizing is that work is not equal to awful, difficult, or miserable. IMO, anyone who sees any and all work as awful is nothing short of lazy.
Just because you say they do, and you really mean it, does not make it a unilateral truth. Both of my relationships are virtually effortless, and neither takes more effort just because the other is there. I don't think this is true however, in most cases, but that's because i think people choose difficult partners for themselves. I'm very lucky to have the two, but i slogged through a lot of duds and i was a dud for some. "work" would have been useless. I am better off doing what works than trying to make it work.