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Old 01-27-2010, 09:27 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,467


You bring up some great points and I want to address them (and no, I didn't take then personally at all - they are very valid).

I don't know any of your history, how you grew up or anything, but the idea of someone being "the only one" thinking something is hard - it's too easy to label what you are doing as "wrong" because "everyone else is not doing that". There are some people for whom that is no issue, but many (including me) have struggled with this in the past - is it ok to be the way I am?

Finding others that thought like I did was a huge relief to me, and others have expressed that it was to them as well. The internet has been a huge boon for this - forums (communities) like this one have sprung up, and are found easily and are very successful. Different forums do different things, provide different services, and maybe cater to different audiences with different interests (there is a Yahoo group, for example, that deals with Polyfidelity). I see all of these as really good.

So, that was the background as to why I see online communities as useful.

However, there is a fine line between being welcoming to all poly folk and keeping out the spammers (the ones selling viagra, for example) - that was my question about entry criteria - I was trying to have some discussion as to where that fine line is, or should be. We have debated this in various circles, and I wanted to get a wider sample of opinions on it.

Likewise, I think that it is important to have a tone that is respectful and welcoming to everyone for whom the online community is targeted - a community like this one is for all ages, for example, but a comment was made that younger poly folks feel marginalised. I think the idea of my post is to understand better how they do feel marginalised and to maybe put some corrective actions in place to maybe ameliorate that.

So, in summary, my "proposals" - which weren't actually proposals, they are questions that hopefully can spark a discussion - were to:

* discuss and maybe find the fine line of not being too overbearing on the initial barrier to entry in a community while keeping out the spammers. (the other thread I started)

* discuss how younger poly folk may be feeling marginalised (something that was claimed to be the case in another thread) by "mainstream" (whatever that is) poly society, in an effort to reduce that. (this thread)

I hope this clarifies where I am coming from on this.

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb

Last edited by CielDuMatin; 01-28-2010 at 12:47 AM. Reason: fixing small typo
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