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Old 06-23-2009, 10:48 PM
Northern Northern is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 11
Default Currently poly, but one partner wants mono :(

Please excuse the length of this post, though as most of you will know, we are not exactly in a simple style of relationship!

Knowing by example that I was poly (having been in love with two people at one time, yet only being involved with one of them), I finally had the chance to discover it first hand, when coming out of a 5 year relationship at the beginning of last year. I had first set out to be single for a while and sow some wild oats as it were, but feelings developed, and so here we are.

I met BF#1 in January of last year, and so far it's been one of the most easy going and free flowing relationships I've ever had. We only see eachother once every 10 days or so, but what we have is very precious. He has another partner, who he's been seeing for a few years also. We are both happy with the way things are going, and would like to remain in the same siuation for a long time to come.

BF#2 was met in March of last year, and is the most 'solid' relationship, as we see eacother several times per week. I hope this relationship is for the long haul. Things with #2 are without doubt the most compliated, as over time, his feelings have changed from being ok with poly, to wanting mono. Though he has tried things with other people, I worry that he does it just to sate me, and I know for a fact that this is sometimes the case.

1 and 2 have not met, and because of possible personality clashes, it's not likely they will. We all want to be happy - me with them, #1 with us and #2 with me. Things cannot go on as they are, yet it would break my heart to lose either of them, and I'm at a loss for what to do.

Has anyone been in this situation before, and can perhaps shed some light on the best way to go about coming to a compromise (if one can be had in this)?
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