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Old 06-22-2013, 12:47 AM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,587

Originally Posted by starmonkey View Post
Do most polly people only date other poly people - just avoid monogamous dating altogether?
The only marginally successful (read: not crashing and burning in flames) mono-poly dating I've seen is when the mono person considers *themselves* mono but don't have designs on their partner being mono. There are plenty of poly folk who date straight up mono people who don't like the worldview of their poly partners and those are lots of fun to watch. The fireworks can be seen from neighboring counties.

I personally would need to be very impressed to date a mono person. They would need to somehow convince me that they fully embrace my worldview while not practicing it themselves. No idea how they would do that, but that would be the cost of entry.

Originally Posted by starmonkey View Post
I would like to be authentic with that apology and learn something from it so I don't make the same mistake again - and ideally put some of this pettiness of mine to rest.
Identifying that it is an emotional response that you don't want to inform your actions any further is the biggest hurdle imo. Next it will just be a matter of catching yourself *before* you act on the emotions instead of after.

For me it has just taken practice. I try to intellectualize my feelings as often as I can so that I can determine if they are valid or just knee-jerk junk. Most of the time it's knee-jerk junk, so I do my little mantra about "it's her life and that is awesome" or "this is not mine to control, which is how I want it", etc. These days I find that I don't fall prey to those emotions as frequently.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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