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Old 06-21-2013, 11:25 PM
starmonkey starmonkey is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 26
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I don't have a problem with blunt, but my question was about how people here manage feelings that must come up fairly regularly. If I didn't already know I screwed up, I would have titled my post something like, "is this OK?"

I'm not expecting anyone to coddle me, I just think you tend to get your point across more effectively when you don't whack them over the head with it. I also don't see the point in telling some one they are wrong when they have already said it themselves. Enough said - this isn't why I posted here.

I appreciate some of the suggestions already. I've personally never really been a huge fan of the hierarchy "primary," "secondary, " etc imply, and I don't think my partner does either. She has been a great girlfriend to me, so why am I not calling her that already?

Do most polly people only date other poly people - just avoid monogamous dating altogether?

I already get the ethics, I'm not blaming my partner for anything, and I have no desire to micromanage her life. Yes, I was selfish, I made a mistake, and now since I have sincerely apologized for my actions, I would like to be authentic with that apology and learn something from it so I don't make the same mistake again - and ideally put some of this pettiness of mine to rest. I was looking for what people do to deal with feeling insecurity and/or jealousy - I haven't felt this kind of thing before last night, and all things considered, I'd prefer to not repeat it.

I imagine some people here just don't experience jealousy, fear and insecurity - and until last night I was one of them. It seems pretty likely there are some people here who have, though - and also likely they may have found some way to deal with them, maybe some why they look at it differently. This is what I would really like to hear

If anyone feels the need to tell me again that my behavior is bad - I've already said it was, but go for it. If anyone wants to offer any information that might be useful so I can better deal with the screwed up emotions I was feeling that drove me, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks.
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