You will also discover, after having lived in the world and been exposed to things that are different (people are often pointing this out to me as if i was born and lived under a rock my whole life). The "courtesy" "empathy" "sensitivity" you get from someone who was raised in the projects is going to be of a different sensibility than what you would get from someone raised in a sheltered suburb.
I'm coming at you as the child of immigrant farmers from post ww2 eastern europe who came to the US and worked in factories so they could give their family a better life. I know enough about myself that i can be sure (and nobody has to like it or agree with it) that i know what i am talking about.
And believe me, they didn't hire me for this job (which is not difficult and is very fun) because i refuse to speak up and say things they don't want to hear. I am paid to tell harvard professors things they don't want to hear, why should some random dysfunctional codependent person on the internet have to have their ass kissed by everyone? I tell you what, anyone thinks i need a lecture about my manners because it's the internet and i can't be traced, or something, anonymous keyboard jockey, whatever? Do me a favor. Go ride the New York City Subway, and lecture the passengers about their manners. Then, go to the nearest Starbucks and make everyone be quiet so you can study. Then borrow a baby and go to a biker bar and tell them to stop cussing.
I mean, people and their precious fragile feelings. The rules of this forum say to communicate the way you would in your poly relationships, and that is exactly what i do. One of the things that comes up often on here is how a person should not hold other people responsible for how they feel and how they manage their feelings - that is the advice people get when it is regarding their partner or SO who is not present on this forum. Yet some folks turn around and expect other members HERE to be responsible for other people's feelings just because they don't like the coarse presentation or vulgar imagery?
You know what, i quit explaining myself to people who don't get it on their own, so don't expect poetry this time.