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Old 06-21-2013, 04:13 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,587

Originally Posted by charmedquark View Post
Brian said, "Don't worry, I don't need to do that thing with her tonight." I thanked him for his sensitivity and stopped worrying about the upcoming evening.

Brian not only did not discuss with other girlfriend what was going on between us, but instead, did exactly the thing he had (I thought), promised not to do that night, and it was very clear to both me and other boyfriend that they were doing it.
You said you didn't want to see it tonight.
He agreed.
You saw it anyway?

That's the part I'm not really clear on. It sounds like you weren't in the room but it was somehow "very clear" that they were doing it. How exactly? Is there some audio queue which you also didn't want him to give you? Is the event (is it a secret what the event is?) really noisy and sloppy so you could hear it sloshing through the walls? Was she screaming out "I love it when you event me like that!!!"?

Honestly I think it was in poor taste for him to tell you not to sweat it and then to do it anyway. If he didn't want to agree to it he should have been honest with you and said "No, it's what I enjoy so I'm not going to deny myself that. Maybe you need to stay home tonight or have other boyfriend come here to stay with you". Since he did agree to it though, I think he was being a little childish by doing it in the next room.

So, while I don't see this as a real issue I would say that he's being a bit of a tool and you need to be much more specific with your language if he's going to play games like that.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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