Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn
So instead of sending anxious messages to Vanilla and not getting responses and blaming it all on myself for not being interesting enough or whatever, I will think that her response rate has nothing to do with me, but is more a reflection of her schedules and other commitments.
I fully understand this. I fall into the trap of thinking people (specifically my husband) are ignoring my messages on purpose and then start to doubt myself and my worth. It's all bullshit, half the time they never got the message or missed it because it came in at the same time as 3 other work related messages, etc. One of the tricks I do is, when I'm on a lunch break or on my way home from work, or when I know they have time available, I call the person (no texting) and ask if they got my message - usually the answer is NO. This is a self defeatist/harming trap to fall into. It also might help to discuss with people their habits when it comes to messaging. Do they ignore everything until they have time to deal with it later, do they answer everything immediately or do they have to think about things for hours before responding, etc.
So glad to hear things are coming back together for you!