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Old 06-20-2013, 06:40 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Richardson, TX
Posts: 1,340

Originally Posted by gorgeouskitten View Post
oh i know, i just want him to be happy and i feel badly i have something he doesnt, and thats difficult for him. i suppose "playing field" was bad word usage
Nah, it's common to use that phrase for a conversation like this - but the red flag that prompted the comment might have been this one...

Originally Posted by gorgeouskitten View Post
i feel guilty for having plans myself
To me (not putting words in nycindies mouth) this is setting yourself up for failure by designing it so that you both need an equal amount of relationships in order to be happy. This sets it up as a competition, like a game where the score needs to be even for guilt to not be present.

This is bullshit and will only cause more damage. What you goal should be is to separate these two issues:

1. You get to enjoy your relationships for what they are
2. You want hubby to be happy and want to help him meet chicks

Make those two totally distinct ideas. This way, everyone wins and you don't take on your hubbys dating practices as your mission, nor does his success have any impact on *your* relationships.

What does hubby want from you in this regard? Does he want you to introduce him to your friends or go out on the town hunting hotties with him? Is he hoping you will be involved in this at all? I would let him take the lead on this, otherwise you make him a charity case (and that will not make him more confident with the ladies).
Me: male, 40, straight, single
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