View Single Post
  #11  
Old 06-20-2013, 05:13 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,176
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MZTERY View Post
We seldomly have sex in our bed and that feels stupid, annoying, and childish! I am a grown woman, with kids, a man at home and I have to f*ck him in the bathroom or the fouton so we don't "distrb" others that are there or just to be alone together...either way its retarded to me! It shouldn't have to be this way.
He gets away with this because you put up with it. Why? Of course, it's ridiculous. No sane person would agree to fucking only in the bathroom when you really want to fuck in your own bedroom. So, why do you put up with his bullshit? Is he your boss?

Doesn't matter that they are disturbed by the sounds of him fucking you - it's your house and it's up to them to do what they need to in order to occupy themselves so that they don't hear what's going on. They're idiots for getting into this situation, anyway, if they can't handle the fact that he fucks you too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MZTERY View Post
NYcindie what you asked here -"The more important issue, as I see it, is the children and the fact that he wants to father more with these other chicks. What's that about? Spreading his seed? Weird" is exactly what it is! He says that he wants to keep his blood line going and he believes that these girls have the capacity of procreating with him strong, intellingent, talented children as OURS so that his "strong" genes continue to spread. He is fixated on the idea that where we live is like a den and he is the lion and we are the lionesses in the cave breeding for him. He also does not want any of us to go outside the relationship as long as we are living under HIS roof! So therefore going to another boyfriend would be a no-no to him! That makes me feel like he is NOT polyamory at all just a guy how wanted to bang us all and have us all under one roof too.
This is a fetish. He is fetishizing human relationships. There are guys into "forced pregnancy" and they get off on fathering children - but that is one of the most horrific and abhorrent reasons to bring new life into the world.

Seriously, this is insanity. Your partner is one sick motherfucker, unfortunately. You are exposing your children to behavior that will teach them that women are worthless if not breeding for a man. Take your children and get out now. Devise an escape plan and find a safe place to stay where he won't find you. Go to your employer and ask for help, go to a shelter to hide, anything to get outta there. This is not a joke.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MZTERY View Post
When he talKs about our kids he expresses how much he can't wait til they are older so that he no longer has to take care of them. He talk about travelling the world and doing just so much as a free spirit as he calls himself. He is not a bad father . . . he feels and tells us that he is a better man than anyone else we would find on our own. That all other men would play us out and lie to us all the time. Making him feel more powerful to breed more with multiple women.

BTW he also says that each of us are easily replacable and that it would be nothing for him to kick me out with the kids or any of them. That he is not with me for the kids and that he doesn't need any of us he WANTS to be with us.
Mztery, you have serious self-esteem issues if you have endured this for so long. Even the most intelligent women wind up in situations like this because they lack self-esteem. Remember Hedda Nussbaum. You need help, too. TAKE YOUR CHILDREN AND GET OUT NOW!
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 06-20-2013 at 05:39 PM.
Reply With Quote