I know people want to understand me better
so I have created this "cheat sheet" (no, not THAT kind of "cheat". Gaud. You people are OBSESSED with two things it seems - cheating and big dicks...) so you can study in your spare time. I don't have time to include everything all at once, however, so here is what I have so far:
The Book of Terminology According to Boring Guy™ Esquire, Top Secret Highly Classified Secret Agent of the Government, but if you ask the CIA, NSA, FBI, DHS, FDA, or USDA, every single one of them will categorically deny it, which is why I must operate under such grueling conditions:
Excuse me = Get the fuck out of my way (as opposed to getting the you-know-what IN my way. "out" is the opposite of "in". People forget that all the time. Just like "up" is the opposite of "down" and "stupid" is the opposite of... wait a minute, there IS no opposite of "stupid".)
Excuse you = Get the fuck out of your OWN way (see after "excuse me" where applicable)
Gesundheit = You farted (or someone did - and it was NOT me. I always take credit for my farts.)
Bless you = I farted (see after "gesundheit" where applicable)
Please = This is important to me; I really mean it.
Harvard Please = This is just a suggestion; if it's irksome or inconvenient , feel free to disregard it.