View Single Post
Old 06-20-2013, 02:03 PM
Marcus's Avatar
Marcus Marcus is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,587

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
In addition, even if one is the type who feels it is an identity and the way one is, doesn't automatically catapult one into multiple relationships. You can see yourself as a poly person and still live monogamously or have no relationships at all. There is a point where one chooses to enter into more than one relationship, or not, and everyone's path to that choice is different. I believe that is what the OP is asking about, not whether you see yourself as "wired" that way.
This is a good point.

I arrived at polyamory because of my worldview shifting toward a stance of absolute independence. I rejected the concept of monogamy as a traditionalist social trapping which had ceased to apply to me. I decided that free sexual expression (or lack of expression) was preferable and that slut shaming and sex negativity were not for me. I learned that applying a scarcity model to emotional love was broken, and that there were no limits to emotional intimacy but merely logistical constraints like time and energy.

With all of these ideals in play I pretty much defaulted to polyamory. I was with my monogamous wife at the time I came to this discovery. I didn't have any other lovers on the line and wasn't looking for any - it was a philosophical distinction, not a desire to have multiple romantic partners. Granted, the ability to have multiple romantic partners greatly appeals to me, but I am a person who requires a great deal of alone time and thus do not put much effort into building very many of these kinds of relationships. Add to that, these days I'm not interested in any relationships which are not basically effortless - and most people are dramatic, needy, controlling, disaster pieces... so there's that hindrance.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
Reply With Quote