You all had great responses to this for me ...thank you!
London what do you mean by this?? -"My hunch is that he plays the Domly Dom Daddy role whilst he grows his harem." and NO we are not financially set to afford any more kids, not even if I were to become pregnant will I be secure financially, so its not just WHO gets pregnant. Our kids already are in 4th and 2nd grade and require much more than they did before (ironically) and that makes me worried because I don't want them to lack the moderate stability we have.
Loving radiance what you said here -"YOU are unhappy with the amount of alone time or You are unhappy about the quality of alone time
or both?" is very much true for both factors. Last night, since I has raised the complaint earlier that day about not being satisfied, he must have told the one girl (i'll call her AL) to leave us alone downstairs. She is always around by the way, which is OK for the most part, but I feel it comes off as being inconsiderate and selfish at other times because, like I said before it FEELS more like each female wants to have their OWN relationship rather than a GROUP relationship. Anyway, when we were alone he performed his best on me and as it was satisfactory at that point it almost felt like it was forced (but I could be wrong and I am just feeling sh*tty that I had to even mention sh*t in the first place) IDK!
What you mentioned last -"As for bedrooms-I don't even know what to say to that because I don't understand why you can't have sex in your own room. That makes no sense to me at all" really bothers me too. For the most part I barely get any time in the bedroom alone with him. We seldomly have sex in our bed and that feels stupid, annoying, and childish! I am a grown woman, with kids, a man at home and I have to f*ck him in the bathroom or the fouton so we don't "distrb" others that are there or just to be alone together...either way its retarded to me! It shouldn't have to be this way.
NYcindie what you asked here -"The more important issue, as I see it, is the children and the fact that he wants to father more with these other chicks. What's that about? Spreading his seed? Weird" is exactly what it is! He says that he wants to keep his blood line going and he believes that these girls have the capacity of procreating with him strong, intellingent, talented children as OURS so that his "strong" genes continue to spread. He is fixated on the idea that where we live is like a den and he is the lion and we are the lionesses in the cave breeding for him. He also does not want any of us to go outside the relationship as long as we are living under HIS roof! So therefore going to another boyfriend would be a no-no to him! That makes me feel like he is NOT polyamory at all just a guy how wanted to bang us all and have us all under one roof too.
kdt26417 thank you for wanting to help! No I can't change my job or work hours especially. I am happy where I work and love my job. I have recently acquired my degree in the field I work in and my career is important to me, I wouldn't jeopardize that. He definitely has behaviors and actions to adjust I believe and I have to get better at addressing the issues...pronto!
I honestly look at these girls and see that they are NOT ready for the drastic change that having children will bring, especially with this type of lifestyle. I don't see us as the type of polyamorous relationships I have read about. Between us girls we can hang like friends but once someone is getting the "lovin" from him the other start to feel a certaintype of way...and even though they deny it to him and me when I raise the eyebrow on that issue I am not stupid! I have a strong sense of feeling and I can absorb others energies very well. Besides my kids tell me how the girls are with them and I have even seen it myself..they get anoyed by them, ignore them, and are not children friendly at all! They just don't capture the love of children or even animals like that and that says alot to me...cuz their love is not genuine it is forced!