View Single Post
Old 06-20-2013, 01:24 PM
Marcus's Avatar
Marcus Marcus is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,580

Originally Posted by Precious1 View Post
Will see if the evasiveness and misdirection by attempted mudslinging continues. That hurts the most, a betrayal of a tacit agreement.
You mentioned earlier that he was "slinging shots" at you. What does this mean? It sounds like there are some games being played between the two of you which I am skeptical counseling will be able to fix.

Originally Posted by Precious1 View Post
In other instances, knowing parts of personal histories has protected me. One potential friend omitted his conviction as a child sexual abuser when asked about police history.
So wait, you insist upon a full police background check of complete strangers "for the future grandchildren"?

Maybe instead of running potential acquaintances through your thorough interview process before ever you meet them you could instead "get to know them". Using future grandchildren as an excuse to treat people like they are applying for a job with you isn't likely to help you build intimate relationships.

Maybe you could consider slowing down a little bit. Instead of thinking of every person you encounter as being totally meshed in every aspect of your life and your future grandchildrens you could let the relationship grow organically. Try approaching a relationship and not putting the pressure of being in it for the long haul... just be in it for what it is. You seem pretty paranoid so just meet them in public places, give them your Google number instead of your actual phone number, don't give them your house key or let them stand over you with a running chainsaw. People are really not that dangerous, no matter what the news would have us believe. See if you like them and trust them before you bring them into the fold so that they can harm your future grandchildren.

Anyway, it just sounds like you are sabotaging your relationships by thinking of them as a strategy board game. Relationships which are forced to grow under that kind of light are invariably sickly.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
Reply With Quote