Originally Posted by Marcus
That's also fair.
If she feels that there is some kind of shame from not being able to have an orgasm while her self absorbed, controlling husband jabs himself into her... I suppose we are starting from a more simple level of discussion.
I wonder where people are getting the idea that they should be able to have an orgasm on demand. Maybe it's porn or harlequin novels mixed with a simple mind. Or just the fact that it's not a topic that normal folk feel comfortable discussing rationally.
In red-that's precisely her issue. She believes something is wrong with her-because she can't orgasm while he does that-but can orgasm when she masturbates (and could with her ex husband-even when he raped her, he could make her orgasm).
I can't help with "husband is a self-centered jerk" (though I certainly see it that way in this situation).
My hope is more towards guiding her towards seeing that there isn't anything wrong with her on account of her inability to orgasm THAT way.
Which-I have been sharing the articles-and she is reading them (and I have been researching on my own and sharing those as well) and it is making a dent. She was pretty stunned to realize that SO MANY women need clitoral stimulation (I don't know how women get through their 30s without figuring that out).
I think it's LARGELY because people don't talk about it. She finds it shocking that I do talk about sex and anything about it. She was STUNNED to find out that both the guys also talk openly about it. She about died to find out that my whole social group does. The concept blew her mind.