Thanks all for the responses.
Sting is reduced a bit. This dropped bombshell had left a crater, yet to see if it will explode.
He has started to open up and we have time planned to talk more.
Many times we have talked in depth about my feelings of being lied to - outright and by omission, including how I get wonky over the perceptions of being deceived.
We both agreed on total honesty and owning our fears by calling them out when we feel them. This is a recurring theme it seems, and I will be suggesting some joint counseling over it.
Will see if the evasiveness and misdirection by attempted mudslinging continues. That hurts the most, a betrayal of a tacit agreement.
I'm in it for the long haul. Best relationship I have ever had, and don't expect it to be without some bumps. Yet, I will not repeat my 23 year marriage either - putting the other's emotional comfort above myself regardless of the price.
Originally Posted by Marcus
Why is his personal history your business?
Perhaps in this instance because we shared our personal histories in depth and he deliberately omitted this experience, which paints quite a bit of the rest in an entirely different light?
In other instances, knowing parts of personal histories has protected me. One potential friend omitted his conviction as a child sexual abuser when asked about police history. I found out by a court lookup before our first IRL meeting (I don't meet without a lookup first). I am a survivor, and this is a deal breaker for me, in which case - it IS my business, and protection for my future grandchildren.